Because it is ugly. Really ugly.
But what happened in my life is ugly.
But it is real, too.
It just is.
SO HERE IS THE DISCLAIMER:
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE only read these posts if you think you can handle the raw emotions of a girl who is in the depths of grief and writing them down.
If you can’t, that’s ok. Seriously. Please don’t read them if you aren’t in a place to handle the ugly.
Because some of my moments are grotesque ugly, and this is the only way I know how to get the feelings that come with them out of me.
And I’ve debated with myself and with a few people I love as to whether or not it is just too ugly to put out there. But I’ve decided to not make all of the new posts private, because in some way, that is still keeping it inside.
And the sharing is the only way I have right now to roar.
And I need to roar.
But that doesn’t mean you need to hear it.
So, sincerely, with all my heart, I beg you…please don’t read these posts if your heart isn’t ready.
That is important to me.
This blog used to be called jewelryandjusticeforall.
It was named that because I sold jewelry, and I am a Justice Court Judge. However, I have not written on the blog in several years, but I’ve recently started again.
So since I don’t sell jewelry anymore, and since the worst day of my life occurred just a few weeks ago, I decided to change the name to more accurately reflect the new content.
The old content will still be accessible. I’ve gotta keep it up for all of those bar takers who are freaking out. (My most read and most shared post on this blog is my bar exam post. I know exactly why. I looked for one just like it, but I couldn’t find it, so I wrote one.)
But as for uglyreal….it is what it is.
Guaranteed, if you know me in real life, it will be so very hard to read.
And I am not okay, but that’s okay. I don’t want you to worry about me not being okay. My support system is solidly in tact.
I have people. I promise. And they are on top of me like white on rice.
And that’s the end of my disclaimer.
Read at your own risk.
It’s going to be ugly, because it flat is ugly.
But it is also real.
Ugly. Real. Real. Ugly.
It’s just where I am.