Mac had another visit….

Mac had another visit….

  (Click on the words, not the audio track. I can’t get it to play otherwise.) Some of you may believe Daddy had on a red Polo in his visit with Mac because it was Valentine’s Day. Makes sense. What Mac doesn’t know is that, the day Daddy left, he was wearing a red Polo. … Continue reading

Can’t We Just Skip Christmas? & For the Love, Buy the Sweatshirt and Write the Letter

This is a combination of two separate posts that I just couldn’t figure out how to get through, until now. Please forgive the time jumps.  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Can’t we just skip Christmas? No, we can’t. Because there are 2 children, ages 4 and 9, who can’t wait. Me? I could wait forever. Because these are just … Continue reading

Mine isn’t worse than yours. It is just mine.

One of my tribe members lost her daddy yesterday. He was suffering from Alzheimer’s, and she and her family have been watching him slowly decline into a person they didn’t recognize. That horrible disease inhabited him, stealing his personality, his humor, his intellect, his memory. She didn’t want to let him go, but she didn’t … Continue reading

Leelee Knows

The day Daddy left, Scott and I left my parents’ house to go to our own and give our children (at the time, 9 and and 3) news that would make them know that bad things can happen. I didn’t know that until I was 17. I was lucky to be so old. Beth McNeill … Continue reading

You Should Be Here

Leelee’s birthday was, as you know, a week ago today. October 15th. Extensions deadline. Or, the you I knew, knew. I have no idea if you know now. But you should.   And you should have been here.   I was coming home from the beach with my girls a week ago today, so I … Continue reading

It Doesn’t Get Better

3 and almost a half months later, this is what I have to tell you…. It doesn’t get better.   I wish I could tell you it does. But it doesn’t. Because he still isn’t here. And it just doesn’t get better. I wish I could tell you it gets easier. But it doesn’t. Because … Continue reading

Kryptonite

It is this time of night, when the house is quiet, and I’m not quite tired enough to fall asleep, but don’t have enough energy to find something to do, that the missing sneaks in, even if I don’t want it to.   It is the time of night when my brain can’t keep up, … Continue reading

What Are You Doing?

DISCLAIMER: Read the “About” page, and understand why this blog is called uglyreal. A whole lot of you aren’t gonna like this. And I understand that. I don’t like it either. And yet, it is uglyreal. It just is. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ So, Daddy, here we are again. Daddy + Football = Sad I wonder if there … Continue reading