Thunder

Thunder

The day after my daddy left, it stormed. I was sitting exactly where I am right now, outside at my computer, with the rain pouring as fast as the tears were coming down my cheeks. The sky flashed now and then as lightening peppered the sky, and the thunder boomed. It felt so appropriate. It … Continue reading

Countdown to Thursday

It was the Thursday after the Sunday. Daddy left on June 22. Last year, it was a Thursday. This year, it will be a Friday. Last year, I switched my court week with another judge, so I was on the bench on that Thursday. Last week, I had my June Thursday. I will forever hate … Continue reading

Heavy Purses

Purses can be heavy. Load those babies up with everything you think you need for every situation imaginable, and they can make your shoulder feel like it is about to fall off. They can be mighty pretty, though. However, an ex of mine once said: I’ve never heard a guy say, “Dang. Look at the … Continue reading

It’s Summer

Summertime: brightness, warmth, frivolity, and freedom. The doldrums of winter are gone. The door is closed on the cold. It’s finally Summer.   Up until last year, for Mac, the summer season didn’t just mean that school was out. It didn’t just mean that it was warm and he could enjoy all that sweltering Mississippi … Continue reading

It Hurt

I’ve written about this before, so most of you reading this know (and may have known about this all along…I, for one, did not) that people who suffer from PTSD and anxiety have triggers. Triggers are events that put one back in a moment when he or she initially felt intense fear or sadness or … Continue reading

Box Fan Weather

This week, we had weird weather…in that, it was beautiful outside. Finally. I told Mac that, the sky was so blue-blue, and the trees were so green-green and the clouds were so white-white, none of them even seemed real. It felt good to finally have a pretty day. It is now box fan weather–except, for … Continue reading

The Truth

The Truth

(Mac made this at the McLean Fletcher Center for Grief. It is part of Hospice Ministries in Jackson, and he went for several months, and he loved it. Iti s a wonderful local resource for any of you reading this whose children are dealing with loss.) A few weeks ago, we were at lunch waiting … Continue reading

PTSD: It’s Not Just For Veterans

PTSD: It’s Not Just For Veterans

It feels almost disrespectful to say that I have PTSD. All of my life, I equated Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder with a soldier coming home from war and attempting to live in a relatively safe, uneventful world, but continuing to feel unsafe after seeing and hearing and doing everything he or she saw, heard, or did. … Continue reading

Retreat

If you need me today, I’ll be on a deserted island….in my head. I will still walk here, talk here, be present here…but in my head, my toes willl be in sand, no one will be able to access me, and I will cry. Alot. I will break sea shells, no matter how big and … Continue reading

Time

Time is a precarious thing. It is measured in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, years. It gives us deadlines. It gives us notice. It helps explain how long something lasts, or how quickly something happens….when something should begin, and when something should end. Time marks us, whether we want it to or not. A year … Continue reading